Fatherhood Factor

For all the "dealings" of dads...

Kara Reynolds

5 Ways to Not Be Bored at the Playground With Your Kids

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Kids and playgrounds go together like peanut butter and jelly. Once a child knows they’re going to go somewhere special to play, it’s likely all they’ll talk about until they get there. While playgrounds might be fun for children, they don’t offer much to adults besides watching their kids.

Spending time with your children is great, but you may find yourself feeling bored at the playground after visiting quite a bit. They’re a necessity, though — active children tend to display more self-confidence and get better grades in the classroom. Aside from switching up which playground you go to, what are you supposed to do to beat the boredom?

1. Create a New Game

Children will go along with just about any game you come up with. They’ll be happy to interact with you and learn the rules of a new activity.

You don’t necessarily have to create the game, either. Maybe you could find a lesser-known activity online, or you could borrow a popular idea from another country. Doing the latter would expose your child to other cultures in a fun and exciting way.

2. Get Involved

If you find it difficult to pay attention without interacting with your child, why not get up there and play, too? Many pieces of playground equipment aren’t created with adults in mind, but you can still follow your child around and encourage them to climb, jump and slide. Doing so gets you involved and keeps you moving.

Show your child that you can still swing from monkey bars, even if you’re a grown-up. Simple aerobic exercise can improve your heart and lung function if done regularly. When you look at the benefits, there’s no reason you should abstain from playing alongside your children.

3. Support Multigenerational Play

By involving your parents in the playground experience, you can bring both grandparent and grandchild joy. Older adults may not be able to get out of their homes as often, so spending time with a younger family member can help them fight depression and all the side effects of potential isolation.

Having another adult there will help you focus, too. You can chat with your child’s grandparent and discuss everything from school to how your life is going. With another adult to chat with, you won’t feel as tempted to pull out your phone or another device while your children run all over the playground.

4. Meet Other Parents

If bringing your parents isn’t an option, you should try to socialize with other people your age. If you notice that another parent is there alone, you should reach out to them and ask to sit and talk with them. Chatting with others is a chance for networking — both for yourself and your child. You never know the value that having a conversation with someone new can give you.

The two of you may notice that your children became friends with one another and develop a friendship yourselves as a result. If this happens, you can set up playdates where the kids can play together and you can talk with your new friend. Bonding with other adults can inspire you to search for innovative ways to be more involved with your children.

5. Keep Distractions to a Minimum

If you know you have a distraction nearby, you may feel inclined to give into it during times of boredom.

Many people are addicted to their smartphones, even if they don’t think so, and senselessly scrolling on social media can take time away from your children. Feeling phantom phone notifications indicates phone addiction, and even if no messages await you, you’ll be more inclined to stay on your cell once you have it out.

During times of play, you should be fully present with your child. It will make your kids happy if you’re watching them when they climb something tall or jump a long distance. They’ll be delighted that their mom or dad saw their “huge” accomplishment firsthand.

Turn your phone off and hide it away, or at the very least, turn it on vibrate and put it in your bag or pocket. That way, you can still be available in case of an emergency. When you start to notice everything around you, you’ll be less bored. You’ll be too busy watching your child bravely explore the playground equipment and cheering for them when they conquer something.

Make the Playground Fun for Both of You

With distractions at your fingertips, it can be easy to give in to boredom instead of watching your child enjoy themself. You want to spend time with your kids, but keeping your attention on them can be challenging unless you’re engaged. Staying involved at the playground will offer a more rewarding experience for both you and your children.

5 Ways to Encourage Dads to Receive the Emotional Support They Need

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Often, new moms or even mothers who have raised children for years seek emotional support. Being a parent can be draining emotionally and physically, and it’s important to seek help when needed.

Although parents want to be supermoms or dads, they shouldn’t go it alone. The phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” is accurate. Centuries ago, whole communities would come together to help raise children. Now, it’s primarily up to the parents to raise their kids, which can take a toll on mental health.

Fortunately, society has generally accepted and has better understood the importance of maternal mental health and well-being. The same isn’t true for paternal mental wellness, though. Fathers experience changes in their lives as they journey through parenthood, too. Often, these challenges are absent from discussions about postpartum health.

Society has painted an image that men and dads are supposed to be strong, stable and stoic people. While many men are strong, they must get help when they need it. It’s time to break the stigma. Here are five ways to encourage dads to receive the emotional support they need.

1. Give Him the Facts

Mental health is a concern for fathers. In fact, about 10% of new dads get paternal postpartum depression (PPPD). Additionally, about 16% of fathers have an anxiety disorder throughout the perinatal period. Even though these are significant numbers from the medical perspective, men are far less likely to seek emotional support.

In a recent study regarding fathers during the pandemic, over 80% of those interviewed said they wish they had more emotional support. Men and fathers typically have fewer morale boosters. Offering these facts to the fathers in your life may make them more open to receiving help because they can understand that other fathers feel the same way.

2. Explain How It Can Help the Family

Fathers want to provide for their families. The best way for them to be open to emotional support is to explain how it can help the family overall. Supported and involved dads can be even better fathers. When a man gets the assistance he needs, he can flourish in fatherhood. It shows strength that he admitted to himself that he needs help, too.

Additionally, fathers can receive emotional benefits when they get support, whether through a fatherhood group or a therapist. They can better care for, interact and play with their children. They can also be better spouses and partners. When a father is emotionally available for his children, it helps them stay protected from adverse life outcomes and impacts their emotional development.

3. Find Father Support Groups

A great entry into further emotional support for fathers is through fatherhood support groups. These include men who are all going through similar experiences, whether a first-time dad or one caring for his family for years. Take the step for the father in your life and find one he might enjoy.

Make sure the support group has a male leader. Some men feel more comfortable talking with other men about the different struggles they face. He should be able to relate to others in the group. From there, the men in the support group may further encourage the dad in your life to seek further help, like with a professional therapist or counselor.

4. Receive Emotional Support for Yourself

Another way you can encourage dads to receive the emotional support they need is to receive emotional support for yourself. If you’re the spouse or partner to a father, you can encourage them to seek therapy, especially if you go yourself. It doesn’t hurt to talk with a counselor or therapist surrounding your mental well-being, even if you don’t think you need it. This can help take the shame away from emotional support.

Once you receive help, you can give references to the father in your life. Explain to him what goes on during therapy so he knows what to expect. Offer him suggestions on how he can deal with mental health on his own, too, like with coping and calming strategies.

5. Be Supportive and Attentive to Their Needs

Be enthusiastic about your support for the father and a possible desire to go to therapy or get emotional support. If you’re concerned about his well-being, make it clear. Tell him that you’re worried about his wellness and understand that he may not want to go, but it would be a good choice.

Be attentive to his needs at home, as well. You can help him take better care of his mental health as a dad. Let him have a day or two without the kids. Remind him what a great job he is doing as a father. Be there for him when he needs emotional support.

Begin the Conversation: Dads Need Emotional Support, Too

The best thing you can do is to begin the conversation with the father in your life who needs emotional support. Without communication, he may never know about therapy or support groups and how they can help change his life.

How to Encourage Independence in Our Children and Still Keep Them Safe

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Holding your child close and taking care of them are essential parts of parenting, but they don’t last forever. Kids need more independence as they grow up because it helps them become confident young adults who know how to take care of themselves. This guide explains how to encourage independence in our children and still keep them safe so it doesn’t feel as intimidating to let them take charge of their lives.

1. Make a Chore Chart

Young children still rely on their parents for many things, but they can become more independent even when they’re just entering elementary school. Consider what they can help with around the house and make an age-appropriate chore chart. They might pick up their toys three times a week or make their bed every day. Start with small responsibilities to get your kids in the habit of taking care of things without a helping hand.

2. Enlist a Grocery Helper

During your next trip to the grocery store, ask your child to grab something on your list from the other end of the aisle. Older kids could cross the store to get something too. They’ll practice their memory and navigational skills within the safe confines of the grocery store, so you can reach them if they get lost or confused.

Parents also benefit from this tip because they’re not alone. The store associates will spot your child wandering the aisles and ask if they need help. If your child is nervous or needs assistance, the employees could assist them or call you over the loudspeaker.

3. Schedule More Playdates

Fitting another playdate into your schedule may seem exhausting, but it’s great for encouraging independence in your children. Socializing with their peers develops all essential domains like emotional, cognitive and language skills. It also allows them to make choices without parental supervision. They’ll practice their manners, decide what they want to do and evaluate what’s good for them while remaining safe in a supervised home environment.

4. Visit the Playground

The playground is another place where parents can take a step back from their kids while still making sure they’re okay. Your child will meet new friends and explore the limits of their physical capabilities, like climbing monkey bars.

While they use their independence to push themselves and have fun, they’ll be fine no matter what they decide to do because playgrounds utilize special safety materials like synthetic rubber flooring or loose-fill mulch to reduce the chance of injury. It’s an easy way to encourage independence in your children and still keep them safe.

5. Find Babysitting Classes

Young teenagers typically want more independence because they’re excited about upcoming milestones like getting their license or going to college. Parents can find babysitting classes and sign their teens up to experience independence while making their first source of income. They’ll learn valuable skills like how to perform CPR and when to call 911, which will save them in moments of danger even when they’re not babysitting.

6. Research Volunteer Opportunities

Teens will jump into a new world of responsibilities and independence when they get their first job, but it may be a while before your kids are old enough to start sending job applications. Instead, research volunteer opportunities where you live. You can take them to help plant flowers in a local park or serve meals at a homeless shelter. Children will learn teamwork, time management and other independence skills without having to wait until they’re older.

7. Give Kids More Choices

Kids can make more choices at home to experience greater independence right away. Let them choose what they’ll wear or how they’ll decorate their room. You can even stock up on healthy food and ask them to pack their lunches for school. They’ll figure out how to make a nutritious meal, put outfits together and even organize their belongings before moving out of the house.

8. Take a Step Back

If you’re still unsure how to give your kids more autonomy, take a step back. Some parts of your routine might feel essential, but they could keep your children from taking on new responsibilities. Instead of waking your child up every morning, show them how to set an alarm so they can wake up by themselves.

Kids could get ready for school while you’re making breakfast downstairs or pick out their daily outfits without supervision. There are plenty of little things they can do around the house to become more self-confident without risking their safety.

Encourage Independence in Your Children

Watching your kids grow up is one of the greatest wonders of parenting, but it’s also a little scary. Parents can use these simple tips to learn how to encourage independence in their children and still keep them safe. Give them space, let them make choices in safe environments and allow them time to practice new skills. They’ll quickly learn how to take care of themselves and take on the world in age-appropriate ways.

7 Smart Tips for Dining Out with Your Kids Solo

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Eating out with your kids is an excellent way to enjoy some quality time together! However, sometimes it can get a little chaotic, especially if you’re the solo parent. Here are some tips to make your dining experience more enjoyable.

1. Practice at Home First

Before going out, take some time to do a trial run. Go over proper dining etiquette with your children. You can use stuffed animals to act as other dinner guests. Also, be sure to model good behavior, such as using utensils.  To help these lessons stick, emphasize proper manners at the dinner table.

Here are some table manners to teach your children before going out to eat:

  • Chew with your mouth closed
  • Take small bites
  • Say please and thank you
  • Use utensils and napkins
  • Try new foods

2.  Choose the Restaurant Wisely

You want to find a kid-friendly restaurant. Look for a place that has menu items you know your kids will eat. Consider a menu with simple flavors and a variety of options. Also, look for places that have minimal wait times for ordering and receiving your food.

If you have younger children, you may want to skip fancier restaurants. These restaurants tend to have more expensive tablecloths. Since kids make messes, find a place where you can easily clean up spills.

Besides the menu, consider the restaurant’s atmosphere. Busier places help divert attention away from your table. The activity can also give your kids something to watch. Finding a restaurant with entertainment will help keep your kids occupied. Some places may have TVs, tablets, or coloring books. These can be good sources of distraction while kids are waiting for their food.

When choosing the right restaurant, look for these other kid-friendly amenities:

  • Highchairs
  • Changing station
  • Cups with lids
  • Play areas

3.  Be Mindful Of Your Kids Attention Span

Children have shorter attention spans than adults. The increased use of technology has further shortened children’s attention span.  This is why you want to find a restaurant that is less crowded. Suppose the wait for a table is long, you should consider trying another place. If your kids become impatient, it can make your dining experience less enjoyable.

Also, think about how long your food will take to prepare. Suppose you go to your local pizza shop. You might want to order the thin crust pizza instead of the deep dish to save some time. To help limit wait times, consider asking if your kid’s meals can come out first.

4.  Time it Right

Plan to dine out early. This way, your kids aren’t overly tired or hungry. Eating early can help to prevent any mid-meal meltdowns. Also, it can help to reduce the chance of longer wait times. Even if you’re not hungry at the moment, factor in the time it takes to drive to the place and order food. Also, consider the time of the week. You may want to go out for an early dinner on a Monday or Tuesday.

Dining earlier can also help to make sure your kids get enough sleep. For example, if you have a toddler, they need 11-14 hours of sleep to function. A school-age child needs around 9-11 hours.

5.  Bring Activities to Keep Them Busy

Waiting for food can make your younger children impatient. This is why you want to have things to keep them occupied. Some restaurants may have kids’ activities, but it’s good to be prepared. Bring coloring books or small puzzles to help keep them distracted. You can even play games, like I Spy, to engage the whole family.

Try to find activities you can do together instead of giving them your phone or tablet. Too much screen time can impact a child’s language and communication skills. It can also make it harder for kids to sleep.

Here are some toys to keep your child occupied, besides a phone:

  • Madlibs
  • Silly putty
  • Rubik’s cube
  • Crayons and paper

 6.  Have Pre-Meal Snacks Ready

Ordering an appetizer is one of the fun parts of dining out. Although, sometimes, it can be a longer wait time. Try to order your kid-friendly appetizer as soon as you are seated. To save time, look at the menu before you go out.

In case the starter does take time, bring along bagged snacks for your children. Try to portion them out beforehand so your kids will still have room for dinner.

7.  Treat It Like a Family Date Night

You want to make sure you’re giving your kids enough attention. Try to include everyone in the conversation. Use the time to check in with your children. Life can get busy, so try to be fully present in the moment. Also, if your kids aren’t getting enough attention, they may act out. This could be in the form of a temper tantrum.

Along with keeping them calm, here are some other benefits of family bonding time:

  • Builds children’s self-esteem
  • Strengthens family bonds
  • Develops positive behaviors
  • Encourages communication
  • Increase children’s academic performance

How to Make Your Dining Out Experience a Success

Dining out is a fun way to get your family outside the house. It also creates lasting family memories. However, eating out with just you and the kids can be a lot. Consider these tips to make your next dining experience a successful one!

5 Ways to Instill Smart Health Habits in Our Teens

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The teen years are a fun and exciting time for your children. However, this season of growth and independence can be incredibly nerve-wracking for parents. While giving your kids more responsibilities and freedoms is a good thing, it’s also important that you instill healthy habits in them while they’re still young and under your supervision. If you help them develop these skills now, you’ll equip them with the right tools to navigate adulthood and its many temptations and challenges.

Here are a few simple ways to instill smart habits now so your kids don’t have to worry about cultivating them later.

1. Exercise Together

More than 18% of children between the ages of five and 19 are overweight or obese. Sadly, their higher body mass index increases their risk of obesity, premature death and disability in adulthood. Therefore, it’s crucial that you encourage your kids to exercise. Better yet, be a good role model by lacing up your shoes and working out with them.

Complete a partner workout, go for a jog or try playing an interactive game that’ll get your blood pumping. A few rounds of badminton, tennis or even cornhole will do the trick. You might also drop into a class or two at your local fitness studio or gym. Let your teen choose between yoga, Pilates, boxing and similar activities to find something that piques their interest enough to go back and try it again.

2. Read Food Labels

In order to maintain a healthy weight and cultivate good habits, your teen must also develop a positive relationship with food. However, because many teens struggle with body confidence and self-esteem, helping them stick to a healthy diet can be challenging. Luckily, you can still impart wisdom during your weekly grocery runs by reading food labels together.

Compare various brands’ ingredients and nutrition information and choosing the healthiest one. Focus on just a few important parts of the label, such as the amount of sugar, saturated fat and sodium. Then, analyze the ingredients to determine whether the item is nutritious or full of empty calories. Eventually, this behavior will become a habit so your teen doesn’t have to think twice before selecting the best option.

3. Develop a Solid Evening Routine

Most kids already have an evening routine by the time they reach their teenage years. However, many could probably use a makeover, especially since nighttime habits directly impact your quality of sleep. Set them up for success — and a good night’s rest — by instilling healthy habits now.

For instance, you might replace watching TV or scrolling through Instagram with reading a book or journaling. Doing so will reduce blue light exposure and regulate their circadian rhythm so they can maintain a more consistent sleep schedule. Smaller habits like brushing teeth and wearing retainers are equally important and will vary depending on your teen’s needs. However, personal hygiene should remain a top priority for everyone before they hit they hay.

4. Invest in Reusable Water Bottles

Staying hydrated is key to maintaining peak mental and physical health. That’s because every cell and organ in your body relies on water to function properly. However, most people don’t drink as much water as they should. Therefore, it’s important to instill healthy hydration habits in in your teens while they’re living at home.

Purchase a reusable water bottle for each person in the family and remind your kids to take theirs everywhere they go. Draw lines on the bottles to indicate how much they should consume before 10 a.m., noon, 3 p.m. and so on. Otherwise, you can host daily competitions to see who can refill their bottle the most in a single day. Gamifying the activity can convince even the most stubborn teens to join in and make it more intentional and enjoyable for everyone.

5. Encourage Open Communication

When you experience very intense feelings, your brain’s amygdala goes into overdrive to figure out if what’s threatening you. In most cases, however, anxiety, fear or even anger are the threat. However, this part of your brain may still try to control your response and override logical thought processes, which can make you feel even worse.

In these instances, putting your feelings into words and talking things out is essential. This process is called affect labeling and is important for adults and teenagers alike. Encouraging open communication between you and your kids can facilitate affect labeling and diminish the amygdala’s response. Ultimately, this habit will allow them to regulate emotions so they can remain level-headed, which is a must in emergency situations.

Extending Grace

The teenage years are some of the most challenging for both parents and kids so, when your teens slip up and forget  a healthy habit, try to extend grace. Odds are you’ve forgotten to floss and chosen chips over carrots, too. On these days, it’s ok to let things slide. Beside, you’ll still be there to help them get back on track tomorrow.

Thoughtful Ways for Parents to Support Their Children’s Mental Health

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No matter how old your child is, it is important to pay attention to all parts of their wellness, and that includes mental health. It is never too early or too late to start paying attention to your family’s mental health, and that includes both your own and that of your kids. Even young children can benefit from an awareness of mental health support — in fact, it can build a strong foundation of self-care and consideration throughout life. Care starts at home, and you can begin that cycle for your kids.

There are so many ways you can support your child’s mental health, especially as they grow and change to become the people they’re meant to be. Every person is different, which means that every child is different. Therefore, it helps to have an array of options to try out and see which ones work the best in your family. Ideally, you can use all of these methods in conjunction with one another to create a strong foundation of support for your kids. The most important part is that you’re putting in the effort to support your child’s mental health, and from there, you can do amazing things. Here are a few ways you can get started.

1.  Engage In Play Together

Especially when it comes to younger children, engaging in play is one of the best ways to improve mood, disposition, mental health, and happiness. Not to mention, this often has great physical health benefits, too. Childhood is the best time to really engage with imagination and play, and helping your child develop that can be a fun and natural way to support their mental health.

2.  Foster Support Systems

It takes a village to raise a child, and while you may be the mayor of that village, you can’t populate it all on your own. One of the best ways to support your child’s mental health is to start building the support system you want to give them as soon as possible. There’s nothing like being surrounded by people who love and support you.

3.  Pay Attention to Their Interests

Another great way to support your child’s mental health is to truly get invested in the things that make them happy. Whether they love sports, arts, or school, taking an interest in their passions can let them know that you care about them and that their thoughts and feelings are valuable.

4.  Reduce Stress In Your House

Kids are experiencing more and more stress nowadays, and that can impact their mental health — especially while they’re still developing. While activities like spending time in nature and engaging in physical activities can reduce and manage existing stress, you should also make sure that the stress isn’t coming from inside your own home. Not putting too much pressure on your kids is crucial, especially in times like these.

5.  Check In Regularly

While knowing that they can come to you with anything is an important fixture of any healthy household, sometimes they need you to come to them, and that’s okay. You won’t always know when your kids need you to come to them with help, so checking in and genuinely asking how they’re doing regularly can go a long way, even just in reminding them that they’re supported and loved.

6.  Respect Their Boundaries

This often comes into play with older kids, but it can start the moment you have children. All people have boundaries, from aspects of life like physical touch to topics of conversation. Learning to set boundaries is an important skill to develop in order to grow into healthy adult life. When your child expresses a boundary, try your best to respect it, just like you would a friend or family member.

7.  … But, Protect Them When You Need to

Respecting your child’s boundaries, however, doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want in the name of mental health. Even with their own autonomy, they are still children, and that means it’s your job to protect them from harm — mental, physical and emotional. Whether your teenager is starting to date and you need to put some boundaries in place or your middle schooler doesn’t want a bedtime, protecting your child is one of the most important ways to keep them safe both mentally and physically.

8.  Support Your Own Mental Health

This one is easier said than done, but it must be said. In order to show up for others who need you as your very best self, you need to take care of yourself. It can be hard sometimes with kiddos who depend on you, but you deserve care, too.

How to Support Your Children’s Mental Health

From the time that your kids are small, you want to love and protect them, and one of the best ways to do that is to ensure that they’re healthy both inside and out. From checking in regularly to engaging in play, there are so many ways to support mental health in your family. Do you use any of these techniques already?