I have to admit…I’m a slow starter.
Creative self-discovery was always something that was just slightly out of reach for me.
I could blame it on a lack of creative inspiration. Or maybe even the fact that my youthful compadre’s weren’t ones to hold creativity in high esteem. But neither of those holds true.
Instead, I have come to realize that my yearning to achieve the American Dream is the more likely culprit.
Ideals vs. Inspiration
Having the ideal job, the ideal house, the ideal car, the ideal bank account…the ideal ideals…is, well…ideal.
The inherent tragedy in having these kinds of ideals is that they often come at the cost of inspiration. If and when they are achieved, a gaping hollow is still present. The drive to get there was fueled on the speculation that the outcome would be satisfying. And, maybe it is…for a time.
However, the fading nature of status and position reveal that the purpose is more flawed than the outcome.
Instead of creative inspiration, there is a sense of conquer and achieve. The end result is a lifestyle that seems substantial, but forms more of a shell instead of a foundation.
For me, it resulted in the provision for a family, while leaving little room for flexibility.
Bridging the Gap
If this is an experience that you share, then you know that creative transformation does not mean your responsibilities simply disappear. In fact, they are probably compounding with every passing day.
What it does mean, however, is that you have a responsibility to your creativity. This also means that your creativity is not your own, but something that should be shared with your kids as well.
So, let’s say that you find yourself with the responsibility of supporting a family and your creativity. You know that you can’t make radical choices without detriment to one or the other. What do you do?
- Take stock of your current possibilities. Does your work provide you with a way to exercise your passions? Maybe you can engage your creativity right where you are.
- Start developing relationships that open doors. It’s very likely that you have held more than one job because of who you knew…not what you knew. Why not develop these kinds of relationships with those that share your passions?
- Engage in something that will hone your skills. If you’re a writer, then start a blog or join a writer’s group. If your passion is marketing, then look for events that you can attend. Most importantly, read until your eyes fall out!
- Get the family involved. There is no greater encouragement than when your family participates right alongside of you. If they can appreciate your creativity, then sacrifice becomes a lot less difficult.
- Be courageous enough to be critiqued. Make sure that you are exposing yourself to people that can give you some honest feedback. It is great to be creative, but raw honesty can tell you whether your passion should become a profession or remain a hobby.
Having the responsibility of being a husband and a dad does not mean that we have to abandon our creative dreams. It just means that we have to become strategic about our creativity.
With some support, some hard work, and the right relationships, our creative pursuits may become more than just a hobby!
Excellent and inspiring post Keagan. I have been feeling trapped for quite a while. It’s only recently that I have found my creativity and have given my passions some rope, rather than pursuing the “ideals”. I still aspire to many lifestyle changes, but just recognizing my situation for what it is and starting to do something about it have been liberating.
I think you touch on something very important Brad.
Often our current situation is such that our passions seem hopeless. However, acknowledging where we are and taking some small steps, or as you put it, “giving my passions some rope”, is absolutely necessary.
Sometimes I suffer from wanting the whole show all at once…which is obviously not possible. This proves to be discouraging, but like you, once I actually started taking some steps (this blog for instance) towards feeding my creativity, some really great things started happening.
Keep at it…and good luck!
I feel that one comes at the cost of the because the ‘ideal’ life as you noted car, house, bank account, and job isn’t usually our ideal but societies or somebody else’s. For men this is a significant problem. Until we get out of the notion that a successful life isn’t tied up in our stuff or our title I think we will be unable to find and nourish the creativity that each of us, to varying degrees, are born with.
Nice post.
The cost of achievement is certainly high! Unfortunately, as you stated, the notion that you have not become successful until your “things” and “title” are significant, is very prominent for men.
If our ideals were our own then I believe that our definition of achievement would change accordingly.
Thanks for weighing in!
The first step is often the hardest. That isn’t just cliche either.
Cliche or not…it is certainly a true statement!
Thanks for stopping by Jack!