Last week, during a normal conversation with a friend of mine, the importance of friendship found its way to the center of our exchange.
While this seems like a pretty normal thing for friends to talk about, it wasn’t necessarily the norm for us. Being men of discerning tastes, our dialogue normally consisted of the finer things of life. Things like the new action flick getting ready to release or how “Droid Definitely Does.” Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing degrading about traditional “guy talk” but I can assure you that we are capable of more.
Anyway, as we conversed more about the topic, we came to a consensus that most men have very few “real friends.” This seems to be especially true for dads. While many of us have several acquaintances, most would be hard pressed to maintain the kind of transparency that would be present in a close friendship. Unfortunately, the demands of our lives often cause us to neglect forming bonds with those that share the same testosterone levels.
The real travesty here is that dads don’t often realize the necessity behind having such a friend. Now, at the expense of saving my marriage, I will admit that my wife will always be the person to which I am closest. But, my wife doesn’t get why I enjoy watching the UFC fights, or why I find it so difficult to scour my shower weekly. A buddy however, knows precisely my predicament and with a well-timed fist bump, encourages me onward!
With all the stereotypes put aside, let me persuade the dads out there to really give this some thought. I am not talking about friendships that exist only when chicken wings and explosions are present. I am talking about the kind of camaraderie that would lead us to levels of trust and understanding that are quite frankly, uncommon. Build friendships with guys that will not only tell you “you’re the man”, but that will also tell you when you’re being a colossal idiot.
With the work that goes in to building these kinds of relationships, it is no wonder why they are few and far between. Besides, I don’t think my man-brain could handle more than a couple!
I could not agree more. Good relationships are extremely difficult to find and even harder to keep. But once you find one and invest your self into the relationship you will have that friendship for the rest of your life.Great thoughts!! Max
It seems to be a unique thing to have friendships like this. I guess if they weren't challenging to forge then they probably wouldn't be as rewarding.Thanks for reading Max!
This is really a true challenge, but an important one. I stumbled upon my best friend a few years back, as his wife opened up to my wife how in danger their marriage was. He and I started sharing struggles and started in a very dark place. It was tough. And got tougher. During all those dark times, at some point we started referring to each other as brothers. He really is. When we’re broken down to such a deep level with another man; it’s scary and reassuring all in one.
Scott
That’s a powerful story Scott…
Unfortunately, guys have a tendency to allow their pride to get in the way of forming deep relationships with other men. So…you’re right in saying that it’s not easy. But, the dividends will pay out for years to come.
Thanks a lot for your thoughts Scott!