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College

Tips for Supporting Your Children in College

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Sometimes, it’s challenging to watch your children attend college. You want to help them succeed, but you also don’t want to act too overbearingly. To help your children succeed, you can use these tips for supporting your children in college.

Show Your Support

Showing your support is one of the best ways to show your child that you care about their lives. Even though they may not live at home, children love to know that their parents are proud of their accomplishments. One way you can show support is through sporting their school’s logo. There are many ways to show your school spirit everywhere you go, including college-themed banners, flags, car stickers, decorations, and more.

Communicate Often

One of the best tips for supporting your children in college is communicating with them. Even though your children are now adults, you shouldn’t stop communicating with them. Now, keep in mind that you shouldn’t overdo it and call them three times a day. Your children are busy and may not have a lot of time to talk. Check in on them every week or two by giving them a call and showing an interest in their lives.

Avoid Solving Their Problems for Them

As soon as your children ask for help, you probably want to jump right in and fix their problems. However, keep in mind that your college children are now adults, and while you can provide valuable advice, you should avoid solving their problems for them. Your children will face many tough decisions and may encounter some problems in college, but they will learn how to solve these issues with time and experience.

Use College Resources

Colleges know that your children will come to you first for advice. This is why they provide parent handbooks and guides with plenty of useful information. So, to prepare for when your children call you for guidance, make sure that you keep these resources handy.

College 101: What Parents of University Students Should Know

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Throughout many American households, going to college is an expectation for children, but planning for this can be a big step for any family, especially when the expenses could bust the family’s budget. For parents of first-generation college students, the summer before your child leaves can without a doubt be both exciting and frightening.

It’s common for parents to have worries about their children being on their own for the first time. As a matter of fact, once a child leaves home for college, it can become one of the most challenging times as a parent.

Your child will have lots of freedom, and you won’t be able to see them as often.

This is completely normal and understandable; but to allow your child room to grow as an individual, he or she may have to deal with situations on their own without running to you (as a first option).

Here are some tips on how to successfully parent your college student:

Preparing for Your Child’s College Career

Begin planning your child’s financial budget: Teaching your kids how to work within a budget pays off big time in the long run. Even when they’re young, kids are ready to learn the basics and as they get older, including them in your own budget planning helps them develop good habits from the start.

Believe it or not, teaching credit is like teaching your child good manners-you need to have it, and you need to know when to use it. That being said, be sure to explain how credit affects your lifestyle. Don’t be afraid to tell them how credit is measured, and what is considered a good credit score. These are the discussions that will help your child understand that credit can be used as a tool. It also gives them power over their financial decisions whether it’s applying for a student loan refinance (after college), or applying for multiple scholarships to help reduce the amount of money owed back to the government. Whatever the case maybe, planning your child’s budget will definitely benefit them down the road.

Keep in touch: A cell phone can be an amazing way to stay in contact, or it can be, as some students put it, an “electronic leash.” Most parents, in fact, find that as students start to become more absorbed in campus life, they hardly ever respond to phone calls, emails, and other means of communication. If this has happened to you as a parent, you are not alone. Keep calling, try instant messaging, and send care packages. Your student will appreciate hearing from you, even if for some reason, they don’t respond. Visiting during parent and family weekend, is also another great way to stay connected.

Gathering essential school supplies: The excitement of gathering items that your child will need for their dorm room or college apartment may cause them to forget that they still need school supplies too. Of course, the new adventure of college will be thrilling, but as a parent, you have to make sure your child’s still working towards their accomplishment. Make sure to put these items on their school supply list:

  • Laptop/printer. Generally speaking, laptops have larger screens and a keyboard that lends itself to easy content creation. This means that inserting pictures, graphics, and other elements into documents will make it much easier for students to both organize and prioritize their work.
  • Student planners. From exam dates to group presentations, a college student’s schedule is typically jam-packed with multiple deadlines to meet. A student planner is vital for time management and will help students stay on top of things.
  • Index cards. Studying using index cards is a great way to help your child learn new material. Writing the information on an index card will help your student better retain information, and the cards are easy to take on the go in case they decide to study while walking to class.
  • Flash drive. There’s nothing worse than losing a semester’s worth of work without the possibility of getting any of it back. Luckily, with the help of free cloud storage, such as Dropbox, Google doc, and One drive, a flash drive aren’t as big of a necessity as it was 10 years ago. There are, however, a few benefits of using a flash drive for college documents such as maintaining physical documents, and securing them.
  • Highlighters. These are a must for future college students. Using a highlighter helps to make the most essential information in their textbook stand out.

Get them ready for independence: Preparing for college during freshman year also means preparing students to be more independent during their last year of high school. In other words, college shouldn’t be a child’s first taste of independence or being away from home.

Leaving home, however, is no easy feat; homesickness, loneliness, stress, and anxiety are all common feelings amongst first-year college students. Signing children up for summer programs that allow them to spend time away from family enjoying the outdoors, studying, or volunteering will help them become more independent. Some universities offer summer programs to give students a chance to learn more about their surroundings while they take on their initial college courses.

These are the same programs that teach students valuable lessons about co-existing with roommates they don’t know. Students also learn how to care for their basic needs. The more responsible a rising freshman becomes, the better off they are when they walk onto a college campus.

Encourage campus involvement: Getting and staying involved is one of the most important things a student can do while in college. Being involved, just doesn’t have to deal with volunteer work. In fact, campus involvement takes on many forms, from being a member of a student organization (ASB Student Body Government), to helping a professor conduct research on a project.

As a result of their involvement, they will gain knowledge, skills, and experience in leadership, problem-solving, communication, management, and group development. Being involved also encourages and advances developed on all levels that include: intellectual, spiritual, and social.

In the long run, participating in groups at school, and attending activities on campus are all important for your child’s well-being. But being involved in everything their campus has to offer can also be dangerous for students, distracting them from their studies. That’s why it’s important for your student to ask, “How much is enough?” and “How much is too much?” to understand the difference. Your student will need to find the appropriate level of involvement for him/her.

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Thanks for the read! Did I miss anything crucial? What are some other things parents should know before their child heads off to college? Feel free to leave comments below.

Life After High School—Helping Your Child Decide What’s Next

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The family’s flown in, pomp and circumstance is blaring through the speakers and you’ve got the camera ready to go—it’s hard to believe, but your child is about to cross the stage at their high school graduation. Time sure does fly. And, while it’s a time of celebration, you, as a parent, need to be prepared for what’s to come when the party’s over—the next phase of your child’s life.

Sure, by the end of the school year many students have already finalized their plans for the immediate future, but that’s definitely not the case for everyone. Students today are faced with a myriad of options after they leave high school. Up until this point it has been so simple—pass this grade, enjoy summer vacation, repeat—but now the road ahead is unclear and almost completely up to them. They can opt to join the military, attend a traditional university or even apply for a job if they want, not to mention a slew of other options, so there’s a chance they might be a bit overwhelmed.

So what’s a parent to do if their child falls into the uncertain category? While there is no specific manual on how to properly help your child through this time of ambiguity, I can offer some tips on how to make the transition a smooth and easy one. Read on for some insight into what you should be doing.

Don’t Make Money or Distance an Issue

During this time, odds are your son or daughter has a million thoughts racing through his or her mind. So, the last thing they need is to worry about things like financial burdens and distance restraints. Sure, these are things they need to consider as they take this next step, but they don’t need your constant nagging and reminding about them, especially in the initial phases of the process.

This is essentially their first attempt at adulthood, so let them do this on their own. They are at a point in their lives where they have the freedom to really attempt anything, and they don’t need your negativity limiting their options.  Let them research schools and browse programs, and when it looks like they have narrowed it down to one or two possibilities, delicately broach the subject. Odds are they will come to you for your input anyway, but if you are shoving your two cents down their throat they will definitely shut you down—something you may have experienced in prior situations.

So, for the time being, bite your tongue when you want to remind them how expensive out of state schools can be. Fight the urge to express how much you’ll miss them if they choose to study abroad for a year. I promise you’ll get the opportunity to speak your peace, but now is definitely not the time.

Don’t Impose Your Own Hopes and Desires

Similar to the first tip, this one stresses the importance of silencing your own personal bias and judgment when it comes to your child’s future. So you want them to be a world-renowned surgeon, even though they can’t stand the sight of blood—it’s probably not going to happen. Remember that this is YOUR CHILD’S life, not yours. Sure, by association their actions will affect your collective future, but whatever route they choose should be their choice alone. After all, they will be the ones living their lives, not you, so it’s important that they like what they’re doing. If you force a specific career, school or whatever on them and they end up hating it, you run the risk of having them resent you for the rest of their lives—not sure that’s something you want hanging over your head.

Your children are not puppets for you to steer and manipulate whatever which way you choose. They are people with their own hopes, fears, dreams and ambitions, and rather than trying to live vicariously through them, nurture and encourage their own, unique desires. I promise you will both be happier. Which brings me to my next point.

Be Supportive

No matter what your child decides they think is right for them, be supportive. If they think a trade school is right for them as opposed to a traditional college, remind them that that’s OK and you back them 100%. If they want to study an obscure topic you don’t know much about, encourage them to. Sure, there’s a chance whatever they decide won’t work out and they could potentially fail, but at least they had the drive and initiative to try in the first place. Isn’t life all about learning from our mistakes, anyways?

Look at it this way, you can either be the parent of a young adult who is on the cusp of something great but just needs to invest a little more time and effort, or you can be the parent of a young adult who was too scared to try and chose a “safe”, “normal” option out of fear. I personally would prefer the former, because it would mean that I have instilled enough self-confidence and bravery in them over the years that they now have the courage to chase their dreams. I can’t think of a better way to measure my success as a guardian. Parental support is a powerful thing and should by no means be underestimated…so use it wisely.

So regardless of the route your child chooses, whether it be to go to school, go to work or even take  a year off, remember these tips. They can only help strengthen the bond you and your offspring share and will help your relationship flourish.