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A Guide for a Man Attempting to Raise Women

November 19, 2012 By Nancy Parker Leave a Comment

Raising girls is much different than raising boys. Girls tend to be more emotional, affectionate, and have different methods of logical thinking. For the father who may feel overwhelmed about how to raise a daughter, these tips may help keep you on task.

  1. Horseplay – Although rough-housing is common in most households, girls tend to be more sensitive to physical violence. There are exceptions to every rule, of course. However, rough-housing with your girls could turn them into Tomboys. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if you want your daughter to be pretty in pink with dance recitals in the future, it may become difficult to keep her interests unless someone is being thrown around the room.
  2. Interactivity – Children are excited when mommy or daddy plays with them with his or her toys. Daughters especially like it when Daddy stops in for a tea party. It may not be the most ideal situation for the macho-man inside of you, but it will bring a level of togetherness with your daughter that is worth the expense of your pride.
  3. Language – For some of us, curtailing our language can be a bit difficult. We should always watch ourselves around children, but there are a few words that can really affect girls. While most boys can just shrug off language, girls tend to be more sensitive especially to meanings of certain words.
  4. Social Acceptance – One of the more difficult lessons to teach young daughters is the difference of social acceptance between them and boys. While it’s OK for boys to run around topless in public, some cultures frown on it if girls do so. Bathroom usage is another social lesson, but seems to be far easier than to teach a three-year-old streaker to keep her shirt on.
  5. Role Models – As many girls will find husbands later in life who resemble their fathers, it is imperative that you be the best father you can be. Your personality traits and mannerisms may hold a key to how your daughter handles relationships in her future. Your actions could cause a ripple effect in her life that will impact a great deal of her decisions as she matures.
  6. Sensitivity – Girls need a more sensitive impact on their life as children. While you may think that some reactions are silly and immature, girls can delve fairly deep into an emotional state if you’re not careful with your words. Most girls just want a listener without comments or suggestions.
  7. Drama – No matter how much you try to prevent it from happening, there will always be some form of drama regarding your daughter. Some may be less inclined to adorn the queen’s crown, but you might as well prepare for it. It’s not always a good idea to deal with dramatics using sarcasm or belittling comments. She will need you to be calm when she’s not.
  8. Presence – All children require a presence from their fathers. In some cases, it could be difficult to manage time. However, being there for your child has to be a priority in your life and nothing should come between you and your family. Make time in your life to be with your daughter, or she’s going to learn to get along without you throughout her entire life.

Although the basic needs of all children are the same, girls require a different mindset on certain aspects of learning. Many girls need constant reassurance of affection from the parents and it’s not uncommon for a daughter to pay more attention to the father, as in the saying, “Daddy’s little girl”. Just try to be sensitive when it comes time for the dreaded “birds and the bees” talk.

When Dad is Away: How to Keep in Touch With Your Kids

October 26, 2012 By Roxanne Porter Leave a Comment

Fathers are such an important and wonderful part of a child’s life. For both little boys and little girls, Daddy is the first hero–the one boys want to grow up to be and the one girls want their husband to be like. The world is not perfect these days and many children are in situations where they are not with Daddy everyday–whether the separation is due to divorce, jobs or other situations.

There are many ways Dads can stay close to their children even when they are not present every day. Here are five ways to bridge the separation gap:

1. Phone Calls– hearing Dad’s voice and being able to talk to him in real time is priceless for kids when Dad is away. Often kids have questions or just want to hear his voice. A simple phone call goes a long way to keeping kids connected to an absent father. With today’s technology, video calling is often possible, letting kids see and hear Daddy.

2. Videos– in this day and age of technology, Dads can use smartphones to make fast yet priceless videos to send to their children when they cannot be together. Sometimes phone calls are not an option or far too fleeting for kids to cling to. For younger children, a video of Daddy reading a story to them can be a great connection at bedtime or any other time. For older kids, a video of Dad talking to them, telling a few corny jokes or telling about something interesting he saw/read that day can touch base and let them know Dad is still with them even when he is away.

3. Presents– sending gifts to kids from afar is as easy as shopping online and clicking the buttons. Kids enjoy receiving a package from Dad while he is away and will be able to think about him while they enjoy the toy, book or such that he picked out just for them. Knowing that Dad took the time to choose something fun and send it will bring warm feelings to the child until he or she can see their father in person again.

4. Letters– kids love to get mail and a card or note from Dad while he is not with them. It is an easy way to stay in touch. Timing mail to arrive often will give the child something to look forward to as a way to connect with Dad. Kids often like to keep the letters close to them to look at again and again.

5. Pictures– both Dad and the kids can send photos to each other, keeping everyone in the loop as to what is going on from day to day. With smartphones and email, this is very easily done for most people.

Keeping in touch on a daily basis is important for kids and parents, even if the physical presence is not always possible. Besides divorce separation, sometimes Dads simply work opposite shifts and cannot spend much awake time with the kids, or he may be a soldier and be deployed far away. Whatever the case may be, these tips can help Dads and children stay in touch daily and stay connected to each other’s lives. Of course, it is up to mothers and caregivers to help facilitate these connections. When the time comes that fathers and children can be together in person, the relationship is strong and there is no awkwardness or disconnection. The strong, loving presence of a father is important to raising a happy, healthy child.

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