Fatherhood Factor

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Insanity

How to Stop Getting into Bedtime Battles with Toddlers

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Bedtime can be one of the most difficult times for parents, especially when your child is a toddler. Kids seem to be convinced that they’re going to miss out on everything interesting the instant that they fall asleep, which means that they tend to fight to avoid going to sleep. However, this doesn’t have to be your life. There are a lot of ways that you can help your child build good sleep habits and make your own life a little bit easier at bedtime.

Develop A Routine

Just like everything else in their lives, kids do best with a routine for bedtime. While they are young, you get to choose what activities go into your child’s bedtime routine. You should set them up for success by having them help you tidy up their toys, taking care of their hygiene and by reading to them for bed. Building habits early in life can help them to keep those habits the older they get, making them more likely to sleep better later on in their life as well. Knowing what to expect from bedtime also helps your toddler resign themselves to their fate.

Limit Screen Time in the Evening

One thing that should not be in your child’s routine is screen time. Electronics are a great way for your child to learn new things, but they also cause your child’s brain to stay awake and focus on what’s on the screen. This can cause a lot of problems when it comes to actually getting to sleep because the effects of the screen can stay for 3 to 4 hours afterward. In order to avoid a grouchy toddler struggling to sleep, limit screen time to before dinner for the best results.

Keep Dinner Early

Speaking of dinner, you should make sure that dinner is three or four hours before bedtime whenever possible. When the human body is digesting food and sleeping at the same time, it leads to indigestion and needing to go to the bathroom more often.

You should also avoid making their dinners excessively spicy or acidic, as these can increase the likelihood of your child having indigestion. If your toddler is getting hungry later in the evening, try giving them a snack that’s it’s a combination of dairy and carbohydrates, such as a bowl of non-sugary cereal. This combination helps their body to digest the tryptophan that can help make them sleepier, thus helping them get to sleep easier.

Make the Room Comfortable & Distraction Free

This may seem like a no-brainer, but making your toddler’s room comfortable is key to making them actually want to go to sleep. The mattress doesn’t have to be fancy. You can even get it from Amazon. It just has to be comfortable and as distraction free as possible.

Kids are very easily distracted, so this might be harder than you think. A good policy is to keep as much of their favorite stuff out of sight as possible. This will help to keep your child from getting out of bed on their own to play with their toys while you think they’re sleeping.

Letting Your Kids be Kids; And How It Pays to be a Little Insane

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When is the last time you heard the saying, “Let your kids be kids?”

I would venture to guess that if you haven’t uttered it yourself recently, then you have certainly received this wonderful nugget of advice at some point.

Whether you listen to Dr. Phil, Dr. Spock, or Dr. Dobson, this seems to be a pretty consistent message.

Before fatherhood however, this saying never carried much weight for me.  Sure it made sense…at least from an intellectual standpoint.  But, without the experience of being a dad, there was little chance of it resonating.

So when I became a father, this piece of advice spoke very clearly to me.  It told me, very vividly, to find the person that coined the term and harm them physically.

At least that’s what I wanted to do whenever I heard someone regurgitate the phrase.

You see, what you aren’t told is that in order for a “kid to be a kid,” your nerves must undergo years of “deadening”.  Without this, you would likely take on the role of a territorial lion and start consuming your offspring.

Obviously, inter-family cannibalism is not a desired outcome…so you need to start developing a failsafe.

The Pitfalls of a Missing Reality

Most of the time the issue we (and by we, I mean me) face is not an unruly child, but more so an issue of unrealistic parenting.

You see, I grew up as the youngest of four kids, with the closest sibling being eight years older.  As a result, I was raised around adults.

While this wasn’t always a bad thing, it did build in me an expectation of behavior that is borderline anal retentive.  And when you add in some exhaustion and self-focus, a firm grasp on reality is an unfortunate casualty.

This means that the grating sound of little girls screams, or the incoherent babbling of a 2-year old, transforms you from a level-headed dad into a raving imbecile.  As if a 2-year old can do anything but babble!

The Benefits of Insanity

So, besides therapy, what can a dad do to cope with the normal irritations of childhood?  I say you need to start acting insane right along with them!

For instance, a few nights ago I was on my way home with my three daughters.  It was late…I was tired, and they had just fallen into the grips of a fresh sugar high.

In practical terms, this means that they had lost the ability to hear amidst their laughing and screeching.

Knowing that my usual tactic of stern instruction rarely worked at times like this, I decided to crank up the radio and screech right along with them.  I called for them to scream at the top of their lungs when the music got rowdy…and then to sing along when the lyrics returned.

I must admit, apart from the ringing in my ears, it felt great to simply let them be kids.  In fact, the extreme nature of our experience nearly induced vomiting in my oldest, which is obviously a very proud moment for me.

A Lesson Learned

What have I learned from this?

Well…I found that some of the best lessons come from being part of their craziness from time to time.  I learned that if I help them purge a little now and then, I can still get the behavior I seek, while building some unbelievable bonds in the process.

But more than that, I learned that I can actually help them be kids.  Without the burden of unrealistic expectations, I can give them the freedom to be insane now and then.

Let’s face it…we all need a little insanity in our lives!