Pregnancy

How Dads-To-Be Can Help on the Day of Delivery

June 9, 2021 By Emily Joswiak Leave a Comment

When the due date for your baby arrives, every part of you may want to panic. Take a big breath and focus on learning how dads-to-be can help on the day of delivery. An important note, though: your role will change as the day goes on, so pay attention to cues.

Equipment Manager

For months, your partner has been making lists and packing up a bag for the hospital. But when the contractions start, all planning can go out the window. While she’s trying to navigate the pain, you’re in charge of ensuring that everything gets to the hospital with you. Some things are essential. You’ll need proper identification to check in, and you won’t want to forget the collection kit if you’ve decided to bank the baby’s cord blood. Some things aren’t as critical but definitely help the day go well. A favorite pillow can be a comfort, while a charger will keep your phone ready for those precious first pictures. Make sure you know where everything is because you’ll be in charge of everything from the delivery room song list to the ice chips.

Communications Liaison

You can be a valuable advocate for the mom-to-be by making sure that her needs are met. Hospitals can get chaotic, and once the epidural goes in, your partner won’t be leaving the bed anytime soon. If she needs a nurse, get one. If she needs the doctor, roam the corridors. If she wants more pain medication, get the facts. In some ways, you’ll be an interpreter, especially if the pain gets tough and the doctor doesn’t understand the grunts. Your family and friends will want to know how it’s going, so hold onto the phone so that you can send dispatches from the front.

Cheerleader and Coach

Being supportive won’t be enough. You will need to be a wise, seasoned, Olympic-class coach, even though you have no idea what you’re doing. You’ll be getting a lot of questions, but the more important thing is just to remain calm. Yes, she’s doing it right. No, it’s not too hot in here. Yes, it seems like science should have come up with a better way by now. No, the baby’s still in there. Because you can actually see more of the action than the mother can, she might call on to give some play-on-play narration.

Silent Partner

At some point on the day of delivery, the best way dads-to-be can help is to shut up. The time for stoic assurances is over, and you might receive instructions—rudely, no doubt—to remain silent. It’s common, and it’s not something to take personally. You can still be there so that your partner can squeeze your hand to shreds. If you don’t have an active role for a few minutes, give yourself a break to take it all in. It can be terrifying to bring a new life into the world, but it’s also a miraculous experience you don’t want to miss. Everything is about to change for you.

Navigating Teenage Pregnancy; Helping your Boy Become a Man

July 24, 2012 By Richard Keane Leave a Comment

So Dad, what do you do when your teen son reluctantly announces that his girlfriend is pregnant with his child? It’s not exactly the kind of news you want to hear on a lazy Sunday afternoon, but it’s not the end of the world, either. Your reaction and how you move forward will have a major impact on how well your son and his partner are able to manage the storm that lies ahead.

What Makes A Boy A Man?

What better way to be thrown into manhood than by becoming a father? Okay, there are better ways, but there are worse ways too. Your son is a man now, whether he likes it or not. This is the perfect opportunity for him to learn that if he wants to be treated like a man, then he has to act like one.

Your Grandchild Is A Blessing

Despite the consequences your son has placed upon himself, never forget – this is a happy occasion! You’re grandparents! Your son is a father! He might not be all grown up yet, but he is a man! The miracle that is life has been created right before your eyes; this is an opportunity for celebration!

Your son may not be ready to be a dad, but were you ready when you became parents? No one is every ready for parenthood the first time, not really. His decisions and actions will largely depend on the level of support and encouragement that he receives from you.

Don’t Let Your Son Take The Easy Way Out

You may think that your son is too immature to do the right thing. You may think that he won’t step up and be responsible. You know that he’ll need to get a job, and he may even need to postpone his education to support his baby. If he’s not showing any interest, don’t just let him off easy by doing the job for him.

He might not be showing any initiative, and you might think that there’s no way he’s going to take responsibility for his actions. As tempting as it may be, don’t tell him that he has to either man up or move out. That will simply make him feel isolated. To succeed as a dad, he needs his parents as allies, not adversaries. Your son may actually surprise you and rise to the challenge, but in order for that to happen, you may need to surprise him first. You need to remember that he came to you; he wanted you to know because he needs your support and advice.

How to Boost Your Son’s Confidence and Self-Esteem:

Surprise him by showing him how happy you are that he gets to experience the joy of being a parent. Just like you did.
Surprise him by showing enthusiasm and offering to help him live up to his new responsibilities.
Surprise him by telling him how proud you are of him for stepping up to the challenge, getting a job, and taking care of his baby and the baby’s mother.

He messed up, he knows this and he’s expecting you to shove that fact in his face. Surprise him, and he may surprise you back.

And Now You Have A Daughter

Your son has a rough road ahead, and his partner has an even rougher road ahead. She may not technically be your daughter-in-law, but accept her and support her anyway, even if she’s initially uncomfortable with your involvement. Welcome her and her child into your family. Nothing you do will benefit your grandchild, the mum, and your son more than offering them your unconditional love and support.

How Important are Dads to the Development of Their Kids?

November 29, 2009 By Keagan Pearson Leave a Comment

http://www.examiner.com/x-29023-Phoenix-Fatherhood-Examiner~y2009m11d8-Fathers-How-Relavant-Are-They-In-Todays-SocietyBelow is an article that I posted on my fatherhood page at Examiner.com that discusses the the impact of a father on their kids. Have these facts played themselves out in your life? If so have you realized the impact your dad had, whether good or bad?

“As it has become more common to see families separated by divorce, abandonment, or even sheer neglect, we are faced with the opportunity to question the real need of a traditional family makeup. More specifically, does a father need to be present and engaged in the life of their kids?

According to Jonathan M. Honeycutt, Director of Research at the National Institute for Divorce Research, 90% of divorced fathers have only partial custody of their children. Additionally, nearly 38% of fathers have no visitation rights at all. This means that nearly 23 million homes are currently without the presence of a full time dad.

So, do these statistics actually mean something when correlated with long-term psychological health and growth? Let us provide a stark reality for those “fatherless” homes. Sixty three percent of youth suicides come from homes with absent fathers according to the US Dept. of Health and Human Services. The same organization attributes 71% of pregnant teens to a fatherless home. The Center for Disease Control has stated that 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders have absent fathers. Moreover, the exact same 85% of youths sitting in prison, according to the Texas Dept. of Corrections (1992), have been born in a fatherless home.

In light of these national statistics, does Phoenix stand in a better light? According to the data, that is certainly not the case. Phoenix marriages dissolve at a rate that stands parallel to the national projection of nearly 50%. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, Arizona saw 23,000 divorces and only 32,000 marriages in 2004. As a result, Phoenix fathers face similar child rearing difficulties as demonstrated by the national statistics.

While the correlation of these numbers may be only a fraction of the full body of data, they certainly point towards the importance of a fully present, fully engaged father. Who would have thought that a dad would bring more to a family than just the ability to remove the occasional lid and the fortitude to operate the remote without incident?”