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Raising Teens

How To Help Your Teen Reach THEIR Potential, Not YOURS

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It can be tough to look at your child and not just see a mini copy of yourself. Considering that for the majority of parents, their children are made up of half their DNA, it can lull you into the idea that things that you wanted to achieve will be the same that your son or daughter wants to do.

If you want your teen to reach their full potential, and want to avoid pushing them into being a resentful copy of you, there are several steps you will need to take.

Check Your Personal Goals At The Door

One of the first things you will need to do is check your personal goals and expectations. By projecting your personal goals on your teens, they may feel undue pressure to meet a standard that they aren’t really interested in.

For example, say you wanted to play basketball at least at the college level. A knee injury during high school may have put that goal out of your reach, but then you have a child who you push into basketball, so your dream can be realized through them.

But if that’s not something your teen really wants, your personal goal can cause a lot of stress, internal conflict, and potentially lead to depression if they feel like they are letting you down. As depression is a significant troubled teen risk factor, it is critical that your unachieved goals be put away so that your teenager doesn’t feel pushed into reaching your unrealized potential and dreams. 

Provide Your Teen With Opportunities For Discovery

Once you shelve your expectations on what your teen should be doing, your next step is to open the door to other opportunities. A study that followed the engagement of children and young adults when it came to their activities showed that those who were allowed to choose their activities had a much higher rate of engagement.

So, if you want your teen to find something they are truly passionate about, you have to give them the chance to discover it. Some ways you can assist them in finding what they want to be involved in is by:

  • Encouraging them to try new things, whether it’s cooking at home or trying out for a team.
  • Sign them up for short-term workshops and summer camps so your teenager can sample a range of activities from musical instruments to self-defense.
  • Suggest your teen volunteer in the community or at school. Volunteer positions allow teens specifically to start to see where they may want to focus their future career aspirations.

Another benefit of providing your teenager with ample positive activities is that you can lessen the chance that they will turn to drugs. As boredom is one of the most common factors when it comes to teens and drug abuse, by keeping your teen busily engaged in discovering and developing their potential, you can significantly lower their drug use risks.

Become Involved In Their Activities

As your teen finds what they are passionate about, your wholehearted support needs to be behind them. With your clear support, whether it’s just your presence at their performance or your chauffering abilities, your teen will be able to more fully engage in their activity and reach their full potential.

In fact, research shows that parental support is key to success in childhood, development, and adolescence. Your level of support and engagement can not only predict how well your teen does in school, but affect their overall health, and whether or not they manage to reach their potential.

While teens can reach some level of success without active parental support, their chances are far lower, and it is more likely that your lack of support will hinder your teens’ ability to be successful. So, if you want the best for your son or daughter, be sure to become actively involved in their interests and education.

As you manage your roles of being a dad, a cheerleader, a discovery coach, and so much more, your teens will more easily become who they were meant to be, rather than just the person you wish you were.

What Are Some Ways Parents Can Keep their Children Safe When Behind the Wheel

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Teen DriverTo highlight how surveillance has changed, let’s start with a story. When I was young, my two favorite movies were Rebel without a Cause and American Graffiti. This terrified my father as he was a child in the 1950’s and knew what drew me to these movies: the fast cars. In both movies, dangerous drag races were seen as a rite of passage into adulthood, and Harrison Ford and James Dean were certainly cool guys who always got the girl. As a very impressionable teen, I immediately grew sideburns.

When I got my first car, my dad was the first one to take a ride with me, and he warned me to keep it below 50. I did this for approximately three days until I determined that ten miles above the speed limit was the actual speed limit for me… and I got a ticket. Needless to say, at least for a few months after that, my father kept a closer eye on me and my driving habits. I had to be home at a certain time every night, and he would check the odometer on the weekends to make sure I didn’t go joyriding.

In a sense, making sure I didn’t become a rebel without a cause became a full time job for him. And these dangers haven’t gone away ten years later. Teen deaths from car accidents are their number one cause of death. In fact, every day, seven people who are between the ages of 17 to 19 die in a car accident. Moreover, although they only represent 14 percent of the population, they account for 30 percent of the amount of injury costs among males and 28 percent of the amount of injury costs among females. This is a huge concern and one in which there are some ways to combat it.

  • Eliminate texting injuries with an app: We are a texting society. This is a huge concern because when you text, you look down and you’re not paying attention to the road. Do you remember the story about the Beverly Hills plastic surgeon who was tweeting on his phone and accidentally drove off the side of a cliff? Using your phone when driving is a serious concern and one that can be prevented in part with an app. Sprint users can download an app on their phone that locks their phone when they’re driving to eliminate these risks.
  • Keep tabs on your children through a GPS car tracker: This is one that my dad would have loved. If you question where your children are going and you think they’re being dishonest, it is possible to install a GPS car tracker inconspicuously so you know where they are at all times. This could allow a parent to step in when they know their teen driver is up to no good.
  • Draw up a contract: You don’t necessarily need technology if you can show your child how important road safety is. One way to do this where the teen driver will feel as if they are being trusted is through drawing a contract. You can establish stipulations and punishments through non-compliance. Hopefully, by showing your trust, your teen driver will act like an adult and accept responsibility.

There’s no questioning the importance of teen driver safety. It could literally mean life and death, and hopefully these ideas can help your teen stay safe.