How about it? Can we legislate responsible fatherhood? While we could certainly get tied in knots debating the finer points of our legislative process, the question is not about the process but more so the effectiveness of the outcome.
Starting in the 70’s, with the creation of the U.S. Office of Child Support Enforcement, the country has attempted to rectify the dwindling, in-home, father population. Unfortunately, these numbers continue to rise and so much so that as of 2004 there were an estimated 30 million children in fatherless homes. This was up from 6 million vacant homes 44 years earlier (Dept. of Health and Human Services, 2004).
So what is the issue? I ran across a paper written in 2007 by James C. Rodriguez that discusses where policies break down. He poses that a great deal of the failure in our attempt to affect change in fatherlessness is due greatly to the reality that most legislative actions are focused primarily on the woman and the child. Certainly these policies must exist, but the disregard to re-engage the father has failed to both identify a large part of the problem as well as a pivotal segment of the solution. Currently, the two major focuses on men come in the form of child support enforcement and the criminal justice system!
Yes, couples need to be educated on commitment to the family and the responsibility of their relationship towards their children. Certainly it must start there. But, the existing problem cannot be remedied by addressing only half the issue. Dad’s need to be drawn in to the equation if there is a chance of a holistic remedy.
As a way to provide a personal outlook, Rodriguez referenced a quote from a book titled “Whatever Happened to Daddy’s Little Girl – The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women.” Read the excerpt below and then contemplate whether or not this young girl needed a dad in her life.
“By the time I was eight years old. I had already lost three fathers—Bill, John, and Noel. Each one abandoned me. Each one wounded me—emotionally and psychologically. At an age when I was supposed to be carefree, brimming with happiness and laughter, I frequently felt a deep sadness, as abiding loneliness. Nothing seemed powerful enough to permanently soothe the agony I felt. I had no well of wisdom from which I could draw to communicate any of this. Consequently, the personal narrative I wrote, through actions and thoughts, was laden with grief. What could I do to cope with the loss of these three men?
A girl abandoned by the first man in her life forever entertains powerful feelings of being unworthy or incapable of receiving any man’s love. Even when she receives love from another, she is constantly and intensely fearful of losing it. This anxiety, the pain, of losing one father. I had had three fathers toss me aside; the cumulative effect was catastrophic. It was a potent tragedy begun even before I knew my name, one from which I was unable to escape for years.
Despite the weight of this reality and its seeming intractable nature, I tried to grapple with it, failing more often than succeeding. I didn’t understand the reason for my anguish” (Jonetta Rose-Barras, p1, 2000).
