Can you really be successful in a career and in parenting at the same time?
I suppose that depends on your definition of success. Are we aiming for intrinsic satisfaction or outward achievement?
As Seth Godin might say, “Is the work an end to a means or are we concerned about the process — the art of creating something that makes a difference?”
Are we all about the “winning” or the steps that got us there?
It’s not to say that we should treat our career like a family or our family like a career, but they are not diametrically opposed.
The challenge is nurturing a passion for your work that doesn’t suck the life out of your family.
Unless you are independently wealthy, you have to make a living…and if you are like most, I would bet that your spouse does too.
So, if work is a necessity, and likewise parenting, then the logical progression would dictate that the two should live in harmony with one another.
It sounds so easy right? We all know it’s anything but.
So much of life is about the middle. In parenting and in work, the beginning and the end happen in an instant. The real story, the meat, takes place during the transition from start to finish.
Now you’ve got a decision to make.
– Will your career cannibalize your family?
– Will you decide that professional obscurity is the only way to remain a committed father?
– Or, will you choose to do work that you believe in, while being a dad that’s present and committed?
It might be a fine line, but it’s a line that we must choose to walk.
I have had a very hard time balancing work and family. My baby daughter has RSV and sleep is something my wife and I vaguely remember. I have had to work from home a lot which thankfully is an option at my place of employment. I make sure to keep my work informed about everything. I enjoy getting the kids ready for school and then picking them up in the afternoons. This means I get to work later and leave earlier than my peers. This has caused some friction but I make sure everyone knows what a committed father I am. I used to have dreams of promotions and getting the next best tech job, but my priorities have changed. Now my family is more important than my work and I see my work as a necessity to pay my bills.
I can certainly affirm that this is a very difficult transition for men to make. It’s easy to admit that our families mean more to us than our work, but living like that and altering our priorities and expectations is something quite different.
As you openly admitted, it takes a very selfless approach to put things in perspective, but I would bet that your relationships are better at home because of it!
Thanks for stopping by!