“They all grow up so fast.” – that’s the rudimentary response you’ll hear from every proud parent.
Indeed, there’s a lot of truth to that statement. The concept of time is somehow altered when you have kids. Everything seems fast-tracked, from the moment you first changed their diapers to that marriage announcement of theirs.
But before marriage can consummate, parents will have their rightful say about the people their children date. Fathers naturally tend to be stringent and picky with the qualities of a man that pursues her daughter.
It may be slightly awkward on the first encounter, but here’s what every considerate dad will do upon interacting with her daughter’s love interest:
#1: Acknowledges the guy
Whether it’s a brief handshake or a basic eyebrow nod, considerate fathers give every person a chance to prove himself – including his daughter’s suitor.
That simple gesture can pay huge dividends not just for him, but the whole family. First, he doesn’t have to waste time and energy assuming that ‘cruel guy’ image, who prejudices and ridicules a person without sound cause.
Second, he’ll command more respect and endearment from his daughter and his entire family, simply because he handled the situation like every fine, middle-aged man would.
As a father, you don’t necessarily have to be the best of buddies with the guy; you just have to pay the same amount of respect that you usually exhibit on every family visitor.
#2: Asks him the questions that matter
The university he’s in, his socioeconomic background, and his aspirations in life – these things are often asked on the first house visit.
But as a considerate father, who’s main priority is to find his daughter’s ultimate and rightful soulmate, you should unravel his answers to these truth-seeking questions:
- How do you handle conflict?
- What makes you think you’re ready for this kind of commitment?
- Why my daughter?
- What makes you think you’ll be the best husband material for my daughter?
- Would you consider marriage counseling if there are debacles along your way?
His answers to these questions are intended to unmask his values as a man. Can he suppress negative emotions? Does he only value your daughter’s surface value, or does he genuinely love her character?
Is he mentally and physically ready for a relationship? Does he run away when the going gets tough or exhausts everything he’s got to save it?
Lastly, is he really worthy of your daughter’s love?
These questions may be blunt and very straightforward, but you’ll know your daughter may have found a keeper when the guy answers it wholeheartedly, rather than laughing at it.
#3: Occasionally invites the guy over
A considerate – and wise – father puts a premium in consistency. The guy may have made a good impression in your first encounter with him, but you must realize that he may have rehearsed answers to your questions, or plotted carefully his moves.
Utilize the element of surprise. For instance, invite him to dinner a few hours before, to see if he’s willing to brave the city traffic just to make it. If he gives a lame excuse, then that can be a clear red flag for inconsistency.
By inviting the guy, though irregularly, you can better assess the parallelism between the guy he’s portraying and the guy he really is.
#4: Respects the guy’s efforts
Some fathers just like to shove the effort of their daughter’s suitors right at their faces. This is especially true when the latter gifts his daughter and his family (including him) on special occasions like birthdays or Christmas.
Rather than rejecting the gift, or feeding it in the trash bin, why not consider accepting and using it? At the end of the day, no person wants his efforts and spending to go for absolute naught.
A considerate father understands that respect begets respect, that’s why he’s the champion of his family.
#5: Leaves the ultimate decision to his daughter
A confident and considerate father trusts the way she raised her daughter of legal age – believing that the intuitions and values he instilled are enough to enable her to make the right choices, particularly on relationships and marriage.
You just don’t disapprove of his suitor, because he’s gnarly or not on the same economic level as your family. You can always share your genuine impressions of the guy, but not force her to take a course of action she wouldn’t want.
As a wrap-up, considerate fathers don’t sweat much or raise an eyebrow in disapproval when they heard that their daughter’s suitor will be meeting them. They give the guy a fair fighting chance while being confident that his daughter is equipped with the ability to dispose of the fellow, if she ever sees or discovers something about him that’s wholly unacceptable by every standard.
Are you that father?
